Family difficulties

24.06.2014

Family difficulties

man and woman hold hands

 

When entering into marriage, one must be ready for the daily, hourly feat of love. Creating a fruitful, love-filled and caring marital relationship takes time and work, or rather, a lifetime. It is necessary to make great efforts to transform selfish behaviors acquired during courtship into selfless love, which is the basis of a happy marriage.

When entering into a family union, a person faces a certain paradox, with two incompatible conditions that influence the choice. On the one hand, it is necessary to know the future spouse before marriage, and on the other hand, it is impossible to know the future spouse before marriage well.

Both spouses bring their personal past, culture, communication style with them into marriage. Two different lifestyles, two life experiences and two destinies merge into one. But if each spouse does not have communication skills, the ability to understand the other and does not want to learn this, then intimacy that brings satisfaction will not work.

Marriage is when two imperfect people come together and each of them helps the other to complement and improve themselves.You will not lose your individuality if you learn to put the needs of your spouse above your own. Marriage is not just something that you add to your daily work as a single person. Marriage should occupy a central place in your life, and all other activities to take second place.

The blessed difficulty of the family is that here each of us comes incredibly close to the most important character of our life - to another person. Especially for marriage, the property of the Other to be precisely to the Other is sharply emphasized by two prohibitions: the biblical ban on same-sex love and the ban on incest. A man must unite with a woman and take her feminine view of things, her feminine soul - to the depth of his own male soul; and the woman has an equally difficult task in relation to the man. In addition, a man and a woman creating a new family must come from two different families, with the inevitable difference in skills and habits, in what goes without saying, and to get used again to differences, to a slightly different meaning of the most elementary gestures , words, intonations.

As for the relationship between parents and children, on the contrary,the unity of flesh and blood is at the beginning of the journey; but the path is cutting the umbilical cord again and again. What emerged from the birth womb is to become a person. This is a test for both parents and children: to re-accept as the Other - the one with whom once made one inseparable whole in the warm bosom of ancestral being. And the psychological barrier between the generations is so difficult that it can argue with the precipice that separates the male world from the female one, and with a moat dug between different family traditions.

This Other - he is, in the words of the Gospel, the Middle! The thing is that we did not invent it - it inexorably, demandingly presents us with the harsh reality of its own being, completely independent of our fantasies, in order to completely torment us and offer us our only chance for salvation. There is no other outside the rescue; the Christian path to God is through the neighbor.

 



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